The Fucked-Up Economy Hits Home. . .

I can't say that I didn't see it coming. Things have been bad at work. As far back as last Christmas, when Rico told us he couldn't give us an Xmas bonus, things were bad. And that was almost A YEAR AGO. That was before gas prices shot through the roof and the housing market crashed and I think every American bank went under and oh yeah, something happened with the stock market as well. So, sales were down. We moved out of our delivery company and hired an in-house delivery team. We converted the basement to a warehouse. We reduced our hours to 4 days a week for the entire summer and then some. I actually thought we were doing remarkably well considering the circumstances, but apparently not. We reached a breaking point. 

So, yesterday I got laid off. It was all very amicable. First thing in the morning. Rico praised my work over the past three years, and told me how upset he was and he gave me a hug. Anna, our bookkeeper, gave me a hug too. Rico told me that he would gladly write me a recommendation, and asked for my keys. And that was it. I was out the door, free, and unemployed. 

Its hard to describe how I feel. Its a heavy mix of emotions and I swing wildly from one extreme to the next. I've been "terminated" once before from a hotel in Provincetown and honestly that one stung a lot more, and I know its because that one had to due purely with my work, whereas this job loss is completely economics based. So the ego didn't really take too big a hit. One thing does make me angry though. Rico chose me and not Rumy to let go. Rumy was technically my subordinate, and I'd been there far longer than her. It hurts that Rico felt Rumy was more valuable than me, and that I was not given the option of taking a shortened week or less money. Rumy definitely is payed less, so perhaps this was the deciding factor. Either way, it doesn't seem fair, but as my father properly taught me "life's not fair." 

I am tempted to vent about many of my experiences at the store, but I'll refrain from that now. Perhaps at a later date when I've got no money and no job and I really need to let off some steam. For now, I'll say that overall it was a good experience. Overall, Rico is a good man, a wonderful artist and designer, and a great boss, but often overly emotional and irrational.  

That said, I do not envy Rumy one bit. Running that store is going to be exhausting by herself, and dealing with Rico 5 days a week would drive anyone insane.  Even thinking of the current ongoing problems and having to deal with them all myself makes me feel really bad for her. Then I have moments of unbridled joy when I realized that Oh my God, I'm never going to have to deal bitching, anal customers, wrong pillows, wrong orders, seams coming undone, stains, delivery damage, exorbitant shipping costs, late deliveries, un-met lead times, coked-up designers, whack jobs that come off the street and waste my time, and literally thousands of annoying customers I've dealt with over the years ever again. Its clear I still haven't let go of alot of this stress because I still feel anxious when I think about certain issues. All things must come to an end, and although this one came to an end about 9 months too soon, I'm going to look at it as a blessing in disguise.

Because, as I said, I'm free. As much as I actually did like my job, it was a sort of trap and I had gotten everything out of it that I was going to. I was stressing about telling Rico that I was planning on going back to school and obviously thats not an issue anymore. There are several major bonuses. First, I have lots of time now to work on submitting kick-admission's-ass applications to my journalism schools. I can spend more time with my dog, with my husband, and at the gym. I can focus on my writing (my blog!) and most importantly, get a new job that has to do with writing! Yeah the economy is going down the shitter, but I'll try not to think about that too much. . .to Craigslist, my dears! I'll keep everyone updated!