The Big Gay Wedding pt. 1

So just over two weeks ago, I took one of the most important steps in my life and I got married. To a man. Yay Massachusetts! My new husband Rick Smetana and I got married at a beautiful English style manor named Mepal Manor in New Marlborough, MA. Getting married involves so many things, so many people, and so many emotions. Trying to stay true to my go-with-the-flow persona, I swore I would not get caught up in all the drama and stress but the truth is, its impossible not to. It would be stressful enough if Rick's parents and mine were meeting for the first time, or I had to host my cousin who I haven't seen in 20 years and her scary boyfriend who wears leather vests so everyone can see his double pieced nipples, or find housing for 20 friends WITHOUT all eyes being on me as I vow to spend the rest of my life with my beloved. But, it all went off with minimal hitches.

We arrived on Thursday day at Tunxis and spent some QT with Mom and Dad, had a nice meal and went over the plans for the final time. We had discussed everything ad naseum hundreds of times, but it was a bit weird to think this is it this ain't no rehearsal. Friday was spent preparing the housing, hauling tables, plates, glasses, etc. to our house for the reception, adding finishing touches to the rooms where guests would be staying, and basically biding our time until the first guests arrived. Rick and I were already pretty exhausted even after a nap by the time 6:30 rolled around, when we were due at the clubhouse for a pre-wedding dinner; that is us and all the Tunxis Club. Kasim and the Niles had arrived first, and we all chatted and had cocktails and finally went in for pizza. Rick was dissappointed because his family, who was driving from Wisconsin were due to arrive much later than expected and would probably be missing the dinner. However, soon Rick's aunt and uncle arrived and everything was pretty much a blur after that: introductions were punctuated by more arrivals, requests to the kitchen for more pizza, futile searches for more beer, and dozens of other hosting duties. By the time we left, we had grown to a group of at least 20 people, and we all headed back to the TRout House for more beer, wine and fun. The barrage of arrivals left me a bit overwhelmed, and I hung to Kasim for the night. Ron's beer flowed freely, and soon everyone was standing in the pitch black down by the horseshoe courts having a grand old time. Rick's family did not seem uncomfortable in the least and Bruce was a gregarious ambassador, deftly socializing with everyone and making everyone feel comfortable. Kasim and I put together and ill-conceived playlist after ABBA began to annoy everyone, and by the time "My Humps" came on, Sue, Rick's soon to be aunt-in-law and I got to booty bumping and hilarity ensued.

Staying over at Pretty Penny was clutch for the wedding. It is a beautiful guest house owned by Bob and Gloria Gery, and built so that you feel like you are floating above the lake. It allowed Rick and me to get away from all the craziness in a peaceful setting. I slept fitfully that night, as expected, and woke up around 6:00 to a gorgeous blue sky. After tossing and turning for a while, I fell back asleep and woke up to gray, overcast skies. No matter. It didn't look rainy and I wasn't going to stress. Rick and I got dressed in relative quiet and soon Reid and Martin appeared to take us to the Manor in their festooned Range Rover. They helped us finish dressing and when they turned on the car "Into the Nightlife" started pumping. The big gay wedding had officially begun!!

I had been very nervous leading up to the wedding thinking that I would be a sloppy mess with emotion during the ceremony. Often the sappiest movie scene can make me well up with overflowing raw emotion. Seriously, The Incredibles made me cry. Longtime Companion? Hot mess. My cousin's wedding? More of the same. Sara Wight's wedding? (who I consider a friend but do not know very well) super hot tranny mess who was not appologizing for it. So I was anticipating an event filled with such genuine, personal love with an equal mix of dread and curiosity as to how far off the deep end I would plunge. Would I be able to speak with during my vows? Would we have to take a break while I composed myself enough to continue? I was also worried that I someone would see me tear up, and I would set them off, and then they would compound my emotion. The domino effect of such a situation would be grave in such a homo-heavy environment. And what would Rick be like? While he is usually the model of disinterested logic rather than emotion, he had admitted to me that there was a possibility he would be emotional as well. If Rick was a mess, there was no hope for a non-sloppy wedding.

Bring Ya to the Brink was the first indication that I might be a mess. As Cyndi sang out "I'll take you till you're all spun up and in love. . ." I felt pressure behind my eyes and a tightness in my throat. I had to look away and pretend like I was enjoying the scenery so as give away the secret that I was crying at my happiness to getting gay married, prompted by a Cyndi Lauper song. I composed myself again and we arrived at the Manor. It was nice to see Sara and David already there, hard at work taking photos. We pulled up and the photo shoot began. Photos were being taken in front on the Manor, in front of the car, adjusting my tie, pouring some water, making a sandwich, taking a nap, etc.

I was nervous, mostly worried that I would become the aforementioned hot sloppy mess during my vows. I knew there were alot of crier in the audience: Arthur, my mother, and most straight women, and I knew if I caught a glimpse of them tearing up it could set me off, and to what extent? Would I have to get a hanky? We would have to take a break? I didn't want to ruin my own wedding. I poured myself several large glasses of water and took a moment to write my vows into my personal book, so I wouldn't have to read time from a computer print out, and so in writing them I would become more familiar with them myself. Slowly people began to arrive. My family, Rick's family, Jess, Elena, Joe and Michelle. More pictures! Smiles, suits and dresses.

The Lexington people arrived, with Ariel looking particularly gorgeous, and totally nervous about singing her song. I had asked Ariel to sing I'll take care of you by the Dixie Chicks a couple months back and thankfully she said it would be an honor for her to do so. I first fell in love with song during my initial Dixie Chicks obsession phase, and it made me cry hearing the love and devotion expressed in the song. It gets across the message that love and relationships are not always smiles and laughter, that often time there is grief and hardships and to me thats what love is: sticking by your partner when things are shitty. My favorite line, which is making me tear up right now is "and when you rise with crying eyes, then I'll take care of you."

So Ariel went off to practice the song a few times before the ceremony as more people started to arrive. The Skiddes came en mass which was really exciting. Laura had just flown in from Oregon and had driven up the morning of and she looked AMAZING in a purple shirt, and vest suit outfit and Meera, Dorothy and Matt and Mark all looked fab as well. Danny finally arrived and was a nervous nelly hot tranny mess, w hich was sort of hilarious and sort of unnerving. He was extremely nervous and we went as we gathered around to go over the ceremony he was asking everyone "are you nervous? Are you nervous? You're singing a song?? You must be SO nervous!!" The run through was sort of a mess and we kept changing which way Rick and I were going to walk down, but we got it mostly down. It was getting late now, past noon, and we were starting to feel a few drops of rain. The manager of the Manor kept coming up to me and telling me he'd like to get started, that he was worried the rain would start, and it was stressing me out. For one, the tennis boys had not arrived, which was ironic since they lived the closest to the spot. Secondly my Mom had just told me the Claude had to turn back to take care of a situation with the dogs. My Dad called me over and told me I needed to start the wedding now and I told him it was MY wedding and not everyone was here yet and I'll start it when I want to. We were on the verge of a wedding meltdown, but I said let's wait 5 more minutes and then we'll go no matter what. After a few minutes I began walking up to the starting place with my Mom and we see Charlie's car tearing up the driveway. So I felt better, because 95% of the people were there, and we were ready

Rick, his mother, my mother and I made final discussion as to which

directions we would walk. We took our mother's hands, and began. The ceremony was wonderful. I was almost trying to keep my mind OFF what was happening, because I was afraid I would lose it. Everyone read beautifully and Ariel sang so beautifully as I knew she would. Surprisingly I kept m y c omposure during song, mostly because I was watching Ariel singing it and not looking into Rick's eyes. Oh no! The vows were next - I was sweating but I got through them flawlessly, reading very slowly and precisely, and looking straight into Rick's eyes. Rick went next and his vows were wonderful as well. Later I heard from many many people that they were emotionally affected by the vows, including Jordanna who said she never cries at weddings, but at ours she did. Paul said that same thing. When exchanging the rings, my ring did not fit on my finger very well and Rick was too afraid to push it on. I wanted to tell him just to push and it'll slide on like we do in the bedroom, but thought it might be an inappropriate time. Finally we kissed, and Danny pronounced us married!