Sunday, September 7, 2014

My husband just bought Milk Thistle Extract, which I found in our cabinet while rummaging for food. It's this dark milky liquid that looks foul, but I was curious and I tried it and it was sweeter than honey. Milk Thistle Extract tastes like dessert.

We Are the Champions!

[EDIT: My gifs aren't working - you can probably figure out who I'm talking about in the video]

Ok, Aerobics seriously needs to come back, because it was seriously sexy, and seriously fun. I base most of this statement on a video that has quickly become one of my favorite YouTube clips of all time:

1988 Crystal Light National Aerobic Championship Opening (or rather, an edited version of the opening). Just watch.



I feel cheated. The 80's got Aerobics and we get CrossFit? CrossFitters are hot, but have you ever watched a CrossFit Games? Me neither. I've seen it on at the gym and it's a bunch of muscle queens doing pull-ups and muscle-ups. Where's the jazzy opening number? Where are the unitards?? Where's the catchy theme song??? Where's the fun?!

To give you some background, this video is from the National Aerobic Championship, hosted by, naturally, Alan Thicke. Judging by some cursory research on the internet, it appears Aerobics had reached its zenith at this very moment in time. It's like Richard Simmons, Olivia Newton-John from Physical, and Jane Fonda had a three way and gave birth to this awesome video. 

Aerobic guys are sexy. These men can get it. 

Take for instance, this man:  

Never before have I seen someone so gracefully combine the triple high kick (although his first one is rather weak) with the double-swan. Bicep curl. I think I'm in love. 

I'd like to think that if I had been a young man in the 80's, I would be this guy: 

I just love the pep is his step and the California-kissed hair. 

I'd like to give a final shout-out to the editor of this video, it's tight. Lord knows I love me a video cut to the music. The freeze frames are icing on top. Brava.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Resurfacing

Hey Kids!

I'm back. Just like that. In one of those weird twists of life, fate and the internet, I read a message my from a stranger on my husband's new Facebook page who said he enjoyed my writing and it inspired me to give the ole' blog thing another go! Then, I actually had to Google (google when it's a verb?) my own blog and it took me about five minutes to find a link to it in my email. I couldn't even remember what it was called! It's been that long.


I like to think there are legions of you out there who have been returning the The Jon Ross Spot daily - only to be disappointed each day that I've neglected to post an update. Well, I'm sorry, I know that my review of Avatar can only sustain you for so long. But your nights of sorrow are over.

So, an update: I went to and graduated from grad school, adopted another dog (Barbara Ducky), fostered scads of puppies, joined Instagram, became an extremely minor viral sensation, photographed my brother-in-law's wedding in Wisconsin, met Kit Harrington, and started working for ABC News 20/20 - not necessarily in that order. Here's me with Kit:


I'm only going to talk about that last part in the vaguest of terms, because that seems prudent for my career, and I like to keep an air of mystery about me. So I'm going to try and stick to pop culture because I think I have a lot of interesting things to say about that, and Rick starts to tune me out after a while and goes and watches sports or House Hunters International.

Before I ramble on too much here, I want to talk about something specific. You didn't guess it, it's The Sum of All Fears. Yup, that Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman movie you probably didn't see a long time ago. In another bizarre twist of Internet Fate, I found myself watching a YouTube video of the worst trailers that gave away too much of the movie. The Sum of All Fears was one of them. It wasn't even the worst, it was like #9, but for some reason I was intrigued and decided to download the movie.

This movie was really dumb, and honestly I only made it about 2/3 through the thing. Ben Affleck was way too young and unbelievable as Jack Ryan. This was Ben at the height of his insufferable phase, before he made Gone Baby Gone and Argo. Just look at this picture of him from the movie; I challenge you not to feel annoyed:



Also, all this other nonsensical shit was happening that kept making me mad. For instance, Ben kept trying to call Morgan Freeman's character (who plays a big wig like the Secretary of State or something) to warn him that there was a nuclear bomb on US soil. But, oh, he doesn't hear his phone because he's at a football and is having too good a time cheering for Baltimore. Maybe this was before everyone was tethered to their phones, but still, if you're the Secretary of State and there's an international crisis going on, answer your god damn phone. Hillary wouldn't stand for that shit. Additionally, an Israeli jet with a nuclear bomb on it crashes in the 70's and no one finds it! Some shepherd dude finds it digging! That's dumb guys, and it takes me out of the movie. Also, Bridget Moynahan.

By far the most interesting thing about this movie for me was seeing how much technology has changed since it came out. People still had pagers. Affleck was using some kind Palm Pilot device and Liev Schieber, who played some master spy, says "hey I should get one of those. I don't even have email." I think someone had a geocities email address. Everyone has big bulky computer monitors and televisions. So I was thinking, did this movie come out maybe around '98? Nope! 2002! Amazing how much technology has changed in just 12 years.

That's all for me for right now, as it's 3AM. Hopefully I'll keep this up. Please leave a comment and let me know how you feeling about having me back, or what you though about The Sum of All Fears. It feels good though. Like Ariel with a new set of legs, I resurface, reborn. This time, with GIFS.

-JB


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Avatar - why I feel robbed



So it's been a while, but I feel some intense pop-culture mojo bubbling under, and I thought the best way to channel that would be by mainlining it straight into The Jon Ross Spot.

So I saw Avatar. Who hasn't? As usual, I didn't like nearly as much as everyone else seems to. I thought Sam Worthington was a total bore and I don't understand how or why he's been cast in all these huge triple-AAA tentpole movies (Terminator, Avatar, Clash of the Titans). He's basically just a snooze for me. First of all, if you're paraplegic, yet you're a marine, wouldn't you, you know, work on buffing up your torso at least? Worthington looked scrawny, was basically a douchebag, and most importantly, I never rooted for him or ever felt connected to what he was doing.

I have a lot more criticisms of the movie (how could the Na'vi give a shit about Sigourney Weaver's character when their ancestral home was just destroyed), but I wanted to talk about my chief concern, which was that there was no hot tail-worm on tail-worm Na'vi sex. I feel robbed.

Was it just me, or was I the only one getting heated while keeping a very close watch on Worthington's tail to see exactly where it was probing around. Was I the only one thinking of those tail worms flaying around and teasing each other - Jake trying to sych up with Netiryi and her playfully pulling away? Then a sort of pulsing-thrusting action going on once they did synch up? Don't tell me it was just me.

Think how intense that would be if you could directly connect into the consciousness of your lover! Apparently there was an sex scene filmed for Avatar but it was because they wanted to aim the film more towards families. However, Cameron says that the sex scene will be included in DVD release. I'm expecting some really hot, graphic stuff James. Don't disappoint me again!


Thursday, September 10, 2009

Three weeks into grad school. . .

. . .and I'm still alive. Exhausted, but still kickin'.

Week one: The seduction.

I obviously had tons of emotion going on the first week. I couldn't believe how nervous I was! Going back to school brought back all these anxieties about the first day of classes that I hadn't had since getting dropped off at college! Were people going to like me? Would I be dressed the right way? Was I going to make friends? Would I say something stupid? Would everyone be intellectual snobs and think I was beneath them for being into entertainment journalism (like my husband)? All this plus my general dislike of going to events knowing no one made me one big nervous nelly.

Then there was the excitement of just doing something. I've was unemployed for a good eight months, and it was something of a thrill to feel like part of the world again, to be one of the millions treking into the city to do something. And not just something. I was on my way to Times Square to become a writer, a journalist. I had a purpose again, and it felt good.

I went to school and up the elevator. The doors opened, and the whirlwind of the next 16 months of my life began. I met tons of people. They met me. They were nice. I liked them. They liked me. I ate free food. I drank free coffee. I relaxed. I sat through many lectures, some interesting (Dean's welcome) some not (Research services). I broke my laptop. I drank free booze. I spoke Spanish. I went home. I became Facebook friends with about 57 people. That was my first day.

Week Two: The Tease

My first week of classes began. I had that nagging anxiety again, but not as badly. It's the fear of the new. Cliques were forming, friendships were developing, I noticed a budding romance. I feel conflicted about this. Part of me wants to throw myself headlong into meeting people, going out for margaritas and asking people to lunch with me in Bryant Park. But I'm married. I've got my man. I have my dog. I have my friends. These people deserve my time too. But I don't want to distance myself from my new colleagues, or miss out on a new lifelong friendship because I'm so devoted to my home life. I'll figure it out. I'm meeting some cool new people. Classes were. . .classes. The same ole' introductions and class syllabi rigmarole. I am inspired by my teachers. Well, more by their other jobs than their teaching, so far. A lawyer for the New York Times here, a host for NY1 there, a writer for Brian William over to my left, and an NPR lady thrown into the mix. More than anything I wanted to jump in. I wanted to write, to report, to use all this glorious equipment I was being shown. I did my first "reporting," but it was more of a tease, asking softball question to people on the Brooklyn Promenade. Granted this was a self imposed easy assignment I gave myself. I needn't had worried. There were plenty of challenging assignments in my very near future.

Week Three: The Honeymoon's over

After getting into a nice rhythm during my first week of classes, I had a four day weekend. I spent a glorious and drunken weekend up in the Berkshires. By the evening of Labor Day, I was a nervous mess again. I was dreading another brutal current events quiz from my Craft I teacher. I poured over CNN and the New York Times, trying to absorb what humans had been during in the three days I had been unplugged from the world. Of course he gave the quiz. I did marginally better than the previous week. I love that part of my grade for a graduate level course involves knowing who Tila Tequila is (it was a bonus question, but still).

Then the first "brutal" assignment came. I had to ask strangers what they thought about Swine Flu, Obama's Education Speech, or Van Jones, and write a story incorporating quotes into the story. Going up to strangers and asking these questions was akin to slowly driving nails into my eyeballs. Extremely unpleasant. Come to think of it, it's more like approaching some hottie at the bar. You're dying to be received well, have a lively, interesting conversation and, to seal the deal, get those digits. I've always dreaded that. The approach at least. Still, I completed the assignment, and my skin thickened just the tiniest bit in the process. Every day I feel more and more like a journalist.

Now I've received my first real assignment for Broadcast! One and a half minute piece about whatever I want. Think I'm hittin up the Brooklyn Book Fair on Sunday. If you see me out in the field, come over and let me interview you. Fellow Jschoolers, how have your first three weeks been?

Monday, August 31, 2009

New respect for Taylor Swift


I just caught the Princess of Country on CMA Music Festival, Taylor Swift on ABC, and she seemed to be singing at Madison Square Garden, although it was a bit unclear. I must say, I was quite impressed with her maturity, control, and appearance. Also, she sounded pretty fraking good. I have to admit Swift has annoyed me countless times, but I place blame more on repetative radio stations more than on the artist herself. The New York Times also gave her concert a very favorable review.

Swift's restrained behavior stands in stark contrast to her skanky twin sister of pop-country, Miley Cyrus. While I find the "scandal" over Cyrus' "pole dancing" at the Teen Choice Awards absouloutly ridiculous, the performance was in poor taste for a teen audience. I don't think I have to say that I enjoyed the performance immensely.

Why do I get a feeling that Swift is to Cyrus as Agilera is to Spears? I get the feeling Cyrus is on a fast track to hot-messiness, while Swift will keep her class intact as she grows up. Any thoughts on either of these mavens of teen pop music?

Monday, August 17, 2009

I'm baaaaack

Dearest Friends, Family, Fans, etc.

As my dear brother pointed out this weekend, I was remiss in informing everyone that I was taking a leave of absence from my blog for the summer while I was traveling.

Sorry. Didn't mean to leave you all hanging like that.

Indeed I was away taking a long awaited honeymoon with my husband in England and Italy, as well as visiting with family both in Massachusetts and Wisconsin. Hopefully I can get to posting about my various activities over the summer soon. In the meantime, you can enjoy some photos of my adventures below.

Enjoy!

-JB

European Honeymoon