Thursday, February 26, 2009

weekend adventures. . .

It's been a while kids! Since I know most of you do a lot of vewy difficult reading in your jobs/schooling, I thought I'd give you all a pictorial account of my past several weekends. Minimal reading. Booyah!

I forgot to mention that we painted our "bedroom" the other weekend. Green . Don't hate on it cause you're jealous bitches. This was great for several reasons. We used up like 4 mostly empty paint cans (somehow light green + dark green + ORANGE + white = light green) which we were able to throw out, AND spruced up a horribly bleak wall in our "bedroom." I keep saying "bedroom" because for those of you that have been to our apartment, you know our "bedroom" is a gigantic room that takes up 2/3rd of the apartment. The third reason painting was great is because I got to practice my broken-down babydoll pose that I'm going to use to OWN America's Next Top Model next seasons. Watch out trannys!break it down baby!
That's hot. President's Day Weekend was cold. But fun! We headed up to Tunxis for some good times with Ma & Pa Balthaser, who had just gotten back from their trip to South Africa. On Saturday, we went on a really fun hike in Beckett, MA, but to this old abandoned quarry. They still had all kinds of ancient equipment like this old school truck.
You had to climb up this steep slope that one can usually use steps to ascend, but with all the snow, we had to use this big cable and sturdy tress to help us to the top. Kippy loved it and scampered up and down the hill several times.If you are going to be in the Becket area, it's definitely worth checking out: http://www.becketlandtrust.org/

Overall it was a great hike and afterwards Rick and I hauled our ass of to Lee for some hot outlet shopping. Rick made out like a bandit as always, and I tried shirts that didn't fit and felt like a gawky freak. I didn't get a single thing and actually got into a bit of a funk about my whole clothes situation. But then I realized I was being ridiculous.

This past weekend was Museum Weekend Weeeee! Rick had the week off and after sitting around the apartment for most of the week, I demanded we go do something so we went to the Met! Neither of us had ever been. To make things a bit more interesting rather than just going to "appreciate art" we each wrote down twenty objects to ID in the paintings, sculptures, etc., put them in a hat and split them. Objects included "10 hot men," a full moon, a mullet, a rabbit, a prositute, an erection, a decapitated head, and people having sex. So we had a good time cruising around the halls and finding all our objects (well, we never found an erection or mullet).

The next day I met Devon and Dan at PS 1, another cherry popping experience. PS 1 is a contemporary art museum administered by MOMA housed in an old schoolhouse in Queens. The experience was really cool, but unfortunately I only took two photos. These are of a pool that you can look down into and go "into". It looks like there is water on both sides, but its actually a glass divider and they spray water over the surface of it. Its pretty trippy and fucking cool. There are better pictures here: http://ps1.org/exhibitions/view/207/

There was tons of other interesting and downright hilarious exhibits there, but I won't bore you with descbribing them - you should just go! Its a bit out of the way but perfect for a date or a weekend day out with your beloved. . .or just by yourself. Take some hallucinogens for extra fun! -JB

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dedicated to my vanity


Back in December I took some pics with my friend Sara, who did our wedding photography. This picture doesn't actually make me look that hot, but its very interesting; I think Sara called it a "concept art shot" or something like that. I like how peaceful I look. That's all. Enjoy.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I'm Chun Li bitches!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Room For Cream Review

I wrote an theater review for GO! Magazine that just came out. Check it out below!

Theater Review: Room For Cream
A new lesbian soap opera at La Mama Theater
by Jonathan Balthaser
February 5, 2009
VIEW PRINT VERSION
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How do you take your coffee? Black and strong? Or light and sweet? No matter your preference, you’re bound to enjoy Room For Cream, the delightfully perky lesbian soap opera playing at La MaMa through Feb 8. Performed in an unconventional 11-episode arc, Room For Cream serves up a fresh pot of piping hot lesbian drama each night.

Set in the mythical town of Sappho, Massachusetts, the serial performances are mounted through 11 different episodes that follow the madcap lives of a cast of zany lesbians, transfolk and even a dude or two. The series has all the twists and turns one should expect from a first-rate pulpy soap opera combined with the over-the-top sapphic drama of The L Word. Secret identities, bake sales, scorned lovers, knitting circles, prison trysts and even a murder all rear their ugly heads and keep these ladies on their toes. The action is centered around the coffee shop Room for Cream, where the kooky cast of characters gather to plot, flirt, work, socialize, perform and love. Free of the heady, melancholy themes that characterize much of lesbian entertainment, Room For Cream’s tongue-in-cheek send-up of lesbian culture isn’t afraid to laugh at itself and have a good time.

Although the show got off to a bit of a clunky start, it soon began to bloom and grow, gaining fluidity and purpose until the rollicking conclusion. Staged in-the-round, audience members sit at the outer tables of the coffee shop and really become engaged in the action. We feel like we are part of this community, and in a sense we are; the theatre was packed mostly with women and queer folks.

Driven by a zippy script, the wonderful ensemble cast does an excellent job of bringing eccentric characters to life. Standouts include Becca Blackwell as studly butch heartbreaker Dire Owens and Jess Barbagallo as Bailey Donovan, a baby dyke runaway and counter girl at the coffee shop. Also, look for special guest queer art personalities including K8 Hardy and Dynasty Handbag, as well as legendary thespian Wallace Shawn, to add some extra intrigue.

Room for Cream is a deliciously indulgent, estrogen-fuelled romp, and one that should not be missed. Belly laughs can be hard to come by these days, but Room for Cream pours ‘em on.

Season One is being remounted after its fantastic success last year, through Feb 8. Stay tuned for Season Two, beginning Feb 28.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Stuff I dig: Fringe


So I'm totally into this show Fringe. Have any of you seen it? It's on Fox and it's pretty much like the X-Files meets, well, the X-Files, except I find Fringe to be a bit more lighthearted in general. The show centers on FBI agent Olivia Dunham, jokester sidekick Peter Bishop (Josha Jackson) and his crazy, mysterious and adorable mad scientist father, Walter Bishop, who all work together to solve bizzare murders and mysteries. Some talking points on why I hope Fringe makes it to the Mainstream and keeps on plugging.

I totally love star Anna Torv's unconventional looks and brio
Torv plays Olivia Dunham, the a hardscrabble FBI agent and emotional center to the show. She's no bullshit and constantly loves to defy her asshole boss, but at the same time she's vulnerable and always looks like she's so worried about everything that she going to throw. I think she was perfectly cast in the role - she looks smart, and is really a knockout, but her looks take time to grow on you. Maybe its just that I think she looks like my friend Jacquie, and I like to pretend she's an FBI agent. So basically, rock solid, seductive lead to anchor the series.















Eh? What do you think? Separated at birth?

The show is set in Boston, from whence I hail.
Plus that lettering rocks.
I'm loving all the Boston shots, visits to Harvard, and warehouse raids in Alston. However, they go all over the place - Chicago, New York, Germany so far, and to tell you where they are they put this awesome lettering stating the location positioned in the shot (rather than just clear subtitles). For example, they might show an establishing shot of the entrance to a Manhattan skyscraper and have the lettering run above the awning of the building. It looks like the lettering in that terrible Volkswagon "I think we were just in a car commercial" ad, but it't not annoying in the most unholy way like that commercial.

J.J. Abrams is producing, which can only mean good things.
J.J Abrams is king of the geeks these days, having written or produced such fine work as Alias, Lost, Cloverfield, and the forthcoming Star Trek movie. Oh yeah, and Felicity, although we'll pretend we didn't know that. I dig most of what this guy has done, and he loves deep, mysterious mythology, which were certainly getting with Fringe.

There's at least one major gross out/disfiguration per episode. At least.
I'll admit I've only seen two full episodes to date, but I always seem to tune in when something gross is happening. Like a pilot spasming and shooting bodily fluids from his face, or a guy found with his brains and face melted, or another guy whose oricfices all spontaneously close on his face, suffocating him. Pretty much there's usually something henious happening to somebody's face and I enjoy that.

The show alternates between mythology building serial episodes and one-off freak of the week type shows like the X-Files did.
A winning formula. It allows the writers to have fun with action sci-fi nuttiness, and also craft a deep connect the dots mystery.

The humor in the series is spot on.
Much of the levity comes from the kindly old crazy scientest who is also Josha Jackson's father. He's totally adorable and also invaluable to the team. What other characters have conversations like this:

"Two thoughts come to mind. This condition might have been caused by a mutation changing these lipids to recognize and seal any and all orifices. Did they check the anus and penis?"

"Can we get the answer to that while I'm not in the room? What was the other thought?

"Sorry?"

"You said two thoughts came to mind."

"Oh yes. Ther other was. . .coffee cake. Tiny pebbles of cinnamon sugar. . ."

I love random non-sequitur humor like this. Dr. Bishop is also leading a cow around his lab for much of the episode, and we never really know why. By the way, the Dr. comes back to coffee cake several times in the episode and I got a good chuckle with every delicious mention.

Oh yeah, and you can watch every episode on Fox.com or Hulu.com.
Sweet. For those of us who can't afford DVR. Like me

So check out the show, and let me know what you think of it if you watch it.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Wild Weekend Wisitors

. . .As they might say in Wien.

Last weekend was pretty coo-coo krazy with all kinds of people and animals coming at me from every direction and I was running around the entire time seeing great friends and watching really stellar entertainment. It was beyond.

Rick's crazy friend Sara called us to remind us that yes, she was coming that day (I had no idea, apparently she had told Rick before) and oh yeah, she's coming with her dog and cat, as she's moving cross country from Colorado to Maine for a month before she ships out to Iraq or Kuwait to do work there. I told you she was crazy. So he got here in the evening, cat in hand, who basically spent the whole time avoiding the craziness that was Kipper and her dog Pam going at each other. Here's a pic in one of their cuter moments:Here's another in the midst of one of their wild dust-ups:

Pam has two different color eyes and the pink nose of a cute little lab rat, and is one of the most aggresive lickers I've ever encountered. I mean you'd be watching tv and BAM! out of nowhere she's be all up in your face planting big wet licks on you. Kippy and Pam had a TOTAL blast just roughousing with each other for hours and I'm glad they both got the exercise and fun out of it but it became annoying as they would get excited and yelp and bark and go crazy on the bed. Whatever it was good times and I always love being around animals. We spontaneously switched our bedroom around, and while the change is refreshing, the slant of the floor is now way more pronounced and it looks like we live in some kind of kooky funhouse because nothing is level. Sara drove us to Ikea to purchase a particle board nightstand that we discovered we needed and then I went to see the Westler. Amazing movie! More on that later with an Oscar's post.

Blogger Buddies Reunited
Then it was time to visit my bestest Mainer friends, Matt and Mara! Yay! M+M are pretty much the coolest married couple ever and they are both hiliarious and luckily Matt is Mark's bro so I get to see them from time to time. Mara's also my bestest blogging buddy and really inspired me to get this blog started so I can say I owe it all to her. You can read about her trials and tribulations here. Mara is about 3 months pregnant and her baby is due on my (and her!) birthday - so I'm doubly excited about it! And damn! Woman is showing! I met up with them and a bunch of their college friends at Company Car in the E Vil for cheap drinks and good laughs -
check out Mara's Adventures in Maine to see what she was taking a picture of! Enjoy the pics below.
Check out the baby bump below! Mara was making "21" for July 21st, the due date and both of our birthdays. I was trying to do the same thing but instead it looks like I'm in a gay gang